World of Confusion

Witty, Smart, Caring, Slightly insane. I have been described as these things and maybe more. Never as athletic or outdoorsy. JD, however, would be described as athletic, outdoorsy, and a sports guy. He's not a reader, yet he is trying to be. Doesn't like the music I listen to, and doesn't like talk radio. In ways this has been good because it keeps things interesting, we both step out of our boxes and try new and different things. However, it has been increasingly hard to talk to him about my interests with out getting frustrating or disappointed with his lack of effort in the conversation. Is this normal?

I recently met someone. He is a little older - mid 30's. I run into him every so often at Lux. We can hold a conversation for at least an hour.. At least meaning, it would be inappropriate to talk more than debates over radiolab or This American Life. It has been concerning me. Why can't I talk to JD like that? Jd is great, more than great, but he doesn't seem to understand me. Sometimes it really seems like he wants me to be someone different. Is it ok if I am just me? I haven't ever made myself out to be someone I am not. I don't want to be anyone else. If he can't except me now, will he later?

Its been these thoughts, and the lurking knowledge that most of the people in my church don't like me and don't invite me.. To anything. Jd and I barely have friends. I barely have friends. We only hang out with each other, and that is becoming... Depressing. How can I make him live like that? No friends because they all hate me?

The birthday is tomorrow.. And I am waiting in hope that I will have better thoughts than those I am having now. Goodnight.