I like you.

So, it's not uncommon knowledge. I've dated losers. I have chased loser after loser after loser. I don't know what it's like to be... chased. My reality is being the pursuer, and my fantasy is being pursued. Therefore I am extremely skeptical of any type of genuine interest in me. Nate started everything off by reading me like a book, ripping out some of my pages, and making me chase after him for them. He drove me mad. Chris never knew me, never understood me, he never tried. He just knew what to say to sound like he cared, and played off of my insecurities. JD never really thought I was pretty, and tried to turn me into his perfect woman. Didn't nourish my need for intelligent conversation and refused to be polite to my friends. It smothered me.

Last night, after I INSANELY stalked Jake (aka: I showed up at his house unannounced, because I hadn't heard from him for 2 days and Sammy and Luke scared the BEJESUS out of me. ), he took my face in his hands, kissed my forehead, and said this "You are a sweet girl, who has dated really big jerks who lied to you, cheated on you, and made you think that is all you are worth. You are sweet, and you deserve a nice guy. I am that nice guy. I don't ever want to hurt you or make you feel not respected. I like you." So, after I recovered from almost passing out from what I diagnosed as "heart-melting syndrome", we decided that we are a thing. It's a relationship of sorts. He's not going to call me girlfriend, and I will not call him boyfriend.. But we are "a thing". I like to think of it as "going steady". I like that. Then we talked, we sat on the couch.. and talked about school, phoenix children's, Jackson, my mom, him being a pilot (seriously. He's a Nurse, a Pilot, a Minister, And a former officer in the army.. that's hot.)

Lesson of the night: I do deserve good, and I am sweet. He's given me no reason to doubt, be scared, or go crazy with worry. He has only given me something to look forward to, and be excited about - more time getting to know him, more time looking at those bright blue eyes, and more time being ever so sweetly kissed.