The Short Road to Crazy.

I signed for my first apartment today. I can't believe how insanely exciting it is. My very own space. My dishes. My cups. My wine. My couch. My SPACE. A place for quiet, relaxation, cooking, dancing, making out, and all kinds of good. It isn't huge, but it's big enough. I am more than excited for this. I already bought my huge mirror, utensils, a lamp, and some other goodies. It will be epic.

As exciting as moving out is, my main event for this weekend has been slightly squandered. Jake and I were supposed to have a lazy day together. It's all we have talked about for the last two weeks : Me, him, eating, kissing, running, reading and sleeping... For a whole day (or a half of a day.) The idea disintegrated with a phone call around 4 stating that he wouldn't be able to make it.. A buddy from Iraq was in town.

We are going to try for part of saturday, but honestly who knows. I just feel like I can't get excited any more. I just don't get it. Callie and I talked for a little while about casual dating, and it is casual dating.. Except for the fact that he's called it a relationship several times. I feel like when he said "I sort of think I make girls go crazy" that I probably should have ran the other direction. When he is standing right in front of me - I am so positive that he is crazy about me. The way he looks at me, his kisses, his touch, it's nothing short of true admiration. The moment we separate it's like we cross some sort of magnetic field and I am the one that gets shocked when I try to cross it.

When we talked the other night he laid it all out, he likes spending time with me. He likes talking with me, cuddling with me, holding my hand, and just being us. So, what happens when he leaves? Am I just forgettable? He says we are in a relationship, and he won't just toss me to the side... But yet breaking plans with me comes so easily. I need to sleep on this.. Tired and trying to make sense of crazy doesn't really work.