Can't Walk the Walk - Don't Talk the Talk.

I hate it when people tell me they will do something, and then they don't. Absolutely hate it. Whether you are my best friend, that cute guy I am seeing, or my mother - just don't do it. I won't make plans with you, or tell you I will call if I am not planning on it. It's a rarity if it happens, and when it does I always call and apologize profusely. It doesn't matter what the circumstances or situation is - if you bail on someone and don't call to apologize then you flat out show that person that they mean nothing to you. Their existence in your life is merely dependent on whether or not something else better comes along - like a pair of shoes or other plans.

I am tired of this happening in my life. I fear that I may have to let go of the Cary Grant I thought I found and a few close friends to save myself from being hurt. I don't want flaky, shallow people in my life. Period.

Jake is a great guy. He is funny, witty, charming, irresistible, and very fun to be around, BUT I can't take another cancel or forgotten phone call. I won't. I have had a lot of disappointment with people in my life and I make it clear to those around me that I expect you to do what you say. I always clarify as well - "Ok, so I will hear from you tomorrow" or "Ok, so Wednesday at 8 O'clock right?". Jake is supposed to call tonight. I have no idea if he will or won't. If he doesn't, then I am done. No more phone calls or texts from me playing "Mrs iCal." I shouldn't have to remind a grown man of what he said he would do. I swear - he is amazing in every other way shape and form. He's just so flaky that I can't seem to enjoy him when he is in front of me. It causes so much insecurity and questions for me. Like does he really care? or am I just that girl that he's sleeping with and pretending to date so he can get my amazing enchiladas and some quirky entertainment?

I need to be strong. Stronger than I have been. I've learned a lot in the last few years, a lot about myself, relationships, and being a genuinely good person. I refuse to compromise any of that. So. there it is. We are supposed to spend all day Monday together, and I can promise you that will not happen if there is no call tonight - unless I receive a huge apology within 24 hours. I am reasonable, sweet, and caring - I just don't want to be walked on either.